To Be Loved
by H. James
Summary: Brooke's learning to deal with her personal issues as she finds herself in a new position in her life. And for that she'll need a little help. It contains spoilers from the last 6 episodes of S5.


**AN:** This is a oneshot that contains **S5** spoilers. It's spoiler from the episodes _after_ the 100th episode. So if you wish to come out of the hiatus spoiler-free then I suggest you stop right here. If you don't mind spoilers, if spoilers are important to you, then go ahead and be my guest. I hope you enjoy it and leave a nice review. Those are always, always, highly appreciated.

This is dedicated to my BFF, **Cami **(B. Davis), since it was made by her request. She wanted a oneshot with Brooke, Haley, Jamie and Angie so here ya go, pookie.

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Parking right outside the huge creamy white house, Haley glanced back and saw her five year old son sitting on the backseat, staring outside the window

Parking right outside the huge creamy white house, Haley glanced back and saw her five year old son sitting on the backseat, staring outside the window. She hopped out of the car, unlocked the passenger's door and unbuckled Jamie's seat belt and helped him out of his kid car seat. Along with him, Jamie was carrying a gift wrapped box with a big baby pink bow on top of it. A week before on his birthday party, his Godmother Brooke gave him two presents; one from her and one from her new baby girl, Angie. Jamie wasn't sure exactly how could the baby give him a present when she couldn't even hold her own head up, but he was thankful anyhow and was now returning the present with something he had picked out himself, with just a little help from his mother.

Both mother and son walked their way up to the front door and as they approached the entrance, they could hear a distant baby cry. Once standing right outside the front door, Haley heard the cry getting stronger and Brooke's muffed voice in a weird melody. She rang the doorbell once, but there was no answer. She rang it twice and still no answer. Glancing down at her confused son, she tried the doorknob and found it unlocked.

"Brooke?" she called out as they both stepped inside.

Scanning the room around she could see several baby toys spread around the floor next to a playpen randomly thrown at a corner of the living room. There were some diapers on the table, two baby bottles on the coffee table and a purple stuffed monkey hanging from one of the side lamps. You could say Brooke's house had been cleaner.

Coming from the back room, she could hear the baby cry stronger by the second but she could no longer hear Brooke's voice. Concerned, she took Jamie by the hand and walked back to the baby's nursery. It was right next to a smaller room that Brooke turned into her second bedroom, since the master was upstairs, but she didn't want to have all the baby stuff on the upper floor. Following the cry, Haley wound up outside the nursery that had the door wide open and could see the almost heartbreaking scene.

If Haley thought the living room was bad, she didn't really know what to think of the baby's room. It was pretty much like the living room but adding a misplaced rocking chair, a dresser with the two top drawers half open and a weird smell coming from the changing table. Not to mention the mess that was Brooke herself with the crying baby on her arms. The brunette was standing by the window and rocking the baby back and forth while the little girl screamed nonstop. Brooke's hair was all over the place along with her puffy eyes.

"Brooke" Haley carefully stepped inside, getting the girl's attention, "Honey… what's going on here?"

"Oh" Brooke sniffed a little surprised. She hadn't heard them coming in, "Nothing it's fine. We're fine, it's okay."

Haley arched one eyebrow and stared at Brooke for a moment, "Brooke, you… don't look okay. Are you crying?"

"What?" she sniffed again and her voice cracked, "No, I'm okay" the tears started to roll down her cheeks and she sighed frustrated as the baby kicked on her arms, "Oh my God, Haley, help me!" she whined louder than the baby.

"Alright, calm down" quickly glancing around, Haley found the misplaced rocking chair and pushed it closer to one of the walls, "Jamie" she turned to her son who was still by the door, "Can you get this stuff out of the chair for me, please?"

"Yeah, Momma" Jamie nodded and placed the wrapped gift on the floor next to the door, going to pick the stuff from the rocking chair and placing it on the floor next to where he put the present.

Haley walked closer to Brooke by the window, "Here, give me her" she stretched out her arms but Brooke wouldn't move, "Brooke, it's alright. Give me her, sweetie."

Reluctantly, Brooke let go of the baby and gently handed her to Haley. The baby kept crying and Brooke started to cry again. Making shushing sounds, Haley walked back to the rocking chair and took a seat.

Looking up at Brooke, Jamie frowned and took her hand, "Why are you crying, Aunt Brooke?"

Feeling the little boy's hand on hers, Brooke looked down at him and shook her head while wiping away some of the tears, "It's nothing, handsome. Aunt Brooke is just tired."

"Is Angie tired, too?"

Brooke couldn't help but chuckle, "I have no idea. But she's been crying like this for the last hour so you'd think, right? But she's not" she turned to Haley with a frustrated look, "She just keeps crying!"

"Have you changed her?" Haley asked while patting the baby on the bottom and still rocking back and forth. Angie wasn't crying as hard anymore but she was still fussing.

Brooke sighed, "Yeah! I changed her, I fed her, I burped her, I tried to bathe her but she flipped out on me and now I don't know what to do! She just keeps crying and crying, Haley tell me what to do!"

All the agitation on Brooke's voice made the baby stir louder and start to cry all over again. Jamie quietly covered his ears with his hands and Brooke rolled her eyes tempted to do the same.

"Why don't you go have some water?" Haley suggested, "You look like you need a break." She nodded and left the room. Haley smiled to her son and added, "Want to help Momma? Go after Aunt Brooke and make her company for a while, I'll be right there."

"Okay!" he happily nodded and left the room, pleased he wouldn't have to hear the baby crying anymore.

Filling up the tea pot with water, Brooke had already turned the stove on. She placed the pot on the fire and leaned back on the kitchen counter, waiting for it to boil. Jamie's rushed footsteps stirred her as she turned around to find him standing in the middle of the kitchen area, holding his own hands.

"Do you need any help, Aunt Brooke?"

Brooke warmly smiled and called him with a hand wave, "Thank you. But I'm good" she held him closer and ran a hand through his spiky hair, "Now tell me you were born educated like this or I'll have to believe Haley's a miracle worker."

He twitched his nose, "What's a miracle worker?"

"Your Momma" she sighed.

A couple of minutes passed and the tea pot started to sing. Brooke took the pot out of the stove and poured the boiled water on a mug with a tea bag in it. She reached for another mug and asked Jamie.

"Do you want some tea, baby boy?"

Jamie made a face, "No, thanks. Tea smells weird."

"Okay…" she browsed around the cupboard, "What about some chocolate milk?"

"Yeah!" his face lighted up.

He tried to take a seat on one of the counter's stool but it was too high for him to reach. Brooke saw his struggle and after placing the mug and the chocolate powder in front of him, she picked him up and put it back down on the stool. Haley entered the kitchen and stopped by the doorway.

"How you doing?"

Brooke finished pouring the milk for Jamie and looked at Haley amazed, "How did you – where's Angie?"

"Asleep in her crib" she watched as Jamie put two spoons of chocolate powder on the mug and was about to overdo with a third one, but Brooke gently took the spoon of his hand and started to stir the mix.

"How did you do that?" she asked with a frown, "She wouldn't stop crying for like, ever, and you managed to get her to sleep in five minutes!"

Haley shrugged, "She was just agitated and needed some peace."

"I was alone with her" Brooke wrapped a napkin on the mug and handed it to Jamie, "It was just the two of us, lots of peace and quiet around the house 'til she started screaming bloody murder."

Shrugging again, Haley took a seat on a stool across the counter, "I don't know, Brooke. Babies are very sensitive of their environment and of the emotions of people around them. You know? Maybe she was picking up some of your emotions. You looked pretty shaken up when we got here."

"Well, yeah" Brooke sighed and sat on the stool next to Jamie, "I was a wreck. She wouldn't stop crying and I had already done everything I could think of to make her stop. Nothing worked."

Taking a huge gulp of his chocolate milk, Jamie spied the cookie jar next to Brooke and tried to reach it. Seeing how the boy was failing to do so, Brooke unconsciously took the jar, opened it, grabbed a couple of cookies and placed them on an open napkin in front of her Godson.

"I just don't think I have it in me" she quietly admitted, "Maybe I'm not meant for this, you know?" she glanced at Haley with sadness in her eyes, "I never had the best example of motherly love around me when growing up. I didn't exactly know what it was to be a parent, to nurture, to raise someone, you know? Maybe I just don't know how to be a mom."

Jamie sneezed and both Brooke and Haley answered "Bless you". Leaning her chin down on one of her hands, Brooke saw the boy's chin dripping with chocolate milk. She reached for a napkin and carefully wiped it off of him.

Haley chuckled and shook her head, "How can you even say that?"

"What?" Brooke followed Haley's stare to Jamie and frowned, "He was dripping."

"Everything you did since I walked through that door up 'til now was to look after him. You put him on the stool, you fixed him his milk, you gave him cookies, cleaned up his chin…"

"He's five, he can't do certain things by himself" Brooke shrugged it off.

Jamie chewed his cookie, "I can pour milk, Aunt Brooke!"

"You did it with love, Brooke" Haley couldn't help but smile at the girl's lack of clue, "You did it with care. Being a mom is not something out of this world. It's simply caring for a child enough to do these little things. To watch out for them, to be there… sometimes we have to be a little harsh, but it's nothing out of the ordinary. You already do that."

Brooke glanced from Jamie to Haley already getting emotional, "I do?"

Haley nodded, "And when they love you back you know you did it right."

"I love you, Aunt Brooke" Jamie stated still chewing his cookie.

"You do?" Brooke teared up and leaned over to give him a hug, "I love you too, munchkin!" she broke the hug and turned to Haley, "But that still doesn't really help me. How do I know if a baby loves me?"

Haley shrugged looking at her son, "You just know."

"She is really little" Brooke pondered for a moment, "Maybe if I really love her, like, a lot it will bounce some of it back to me?"

"Sure" Haley laughed, "You just try that."

Brooke rolled her eyes and tilted her head to the side, giving a small smile, "Thank you, Hales."

"Not a problem" she smiled back.

"I'm done" Jamie announced and opened his cookie-dirty smile while placing the empty mug on the counter.

The two of them laughed and Brooke pulled him up to her lap. The boy got comfortable on her lap and turned to her with his eyes wide open, "We brought a present for Angie, Aunt Brooke!"

"You did?" Brooke looked at him surprised, "What is it?"

"I can't tell you, it's a surprise for Angie" he rolled his eyes, "And I picked it up myself!" he stated very proudly.

"Really?" Brooke asked arching one eyebrow with interest, "But you know… Angie's asleep right now. You could tell me and I promise I won't ruin the surprise for when she opens the present later."

Jamie studied Brooke's face for a moment, "Promise?"

Brooke lifted her pinky in the air for Jamie, "Promise!"

He lifted his own and crossed it with Brooke's, before shaking it. It was a deal. He slipped out of Brooke's lap and ran out of the kitchen with Haley on his tail, "Jamie! Don't run around the house."

Brooke giggled and crossed her arms, leaning on the counter. She waited for a couple of minutes until Haley was back with Jamie and the present. The boy walked around the kitchen island and handed the box to his Godmother. Picking it up, Brooke took the box close to her ear and gave it a light shook.

"Ummm" she pondered, "It doesn't jingle…" she shook it again, "I have no idea what it is. Can I open it?"

Jamie promptly shook his head, "No! It's not for you."

"Oh c'mon, I just wanna see what it is" Brooke kinked her eyebrows and stuck out her lips on a pout, "Please? Just a peek!"

Jamie sighed and glanced at Haley who winked at him. He finally nodded, "OK. Just a peek."

Clapping, Brooke watched as Jamie took the bow out and opened the box for her. She peeked inside and saw the stuffed animal with a lace around its neck. Awing, she took the animal out of the box and showed it to Haley.

"It's a bunny!"

"I wanted to give a real bunny like Chester but Momma said I couldn't" the boy explained it all in one breath.

Brooke nodded, "Your Momma was right. Angie's too little for a real bunny, but this one is perfect. Thank you, buddy" she leaned over and placed a kiss on Jamie's forehead.

"You're welcome" he replied with a smile, "Oh! And his name is Bunny."

"The bunny's named Bunny?" Brooke asked holding her chuckle.

Haley jumped in to explain, "I told him that when I was a kid I had a bunny named Bunny."

"Only you, Tutor Mom" Brooke laughed.

"Yeah and Angie's a girl like Momma so she had to have a bunny with a bunny girl name too."

"Ooh" Brooke understood, "That makes sense."

Glancing down at her watch, Haley slid out of the stool, "You know what, Brooke, I'm sorry but we have to get going. Jamie has a play date now and Chuck's mom's already waiting for us."

"Oh, okay."

"But Momma I want to give Angie the present first!"

"If you're really quiet, we can sneak into her room and you can slip the bunny next to her on the crib so it could be the first thing she sees when she wakes up" Brooke suggested while whispering in a conspiracy tone.

Jamie narrowed down his eyes seriously and nodded, "Yeah. Okay!"

"Okay!" Brooke jumped out of the stool, gave the bunny to Jamie and pulled him by the hand, followed by Haley.

Angie's breathing could be heard as a weak whisper. Gently pushing Jamie ahead of her, Brooke walked in the nursery with Haley by her side. They all went closer to the crib. Brooke could see her baby girl sleeping peaceful like an angel – nothing resembling the unquiet baby that was squirming and screaming on her arms not longer than 20 minutes before. Lowering down to Jamie's height level, Brooke whispered on his ear.

"You can slip the bunny, but don't wake her, okay?"

Jamie nodded and approached the crib. Carefully he slipped the bunny from over the bars and putting his hands through them, he pushed the bunny with his hand to place it closer to the baby. He wanted to make sure Angie would really see the present he gave her once she was up. Still with his hand inside the crib, Jamie reached for the baby's cheek and gave it a gentle rub while whispering.

"Bye, baby Angie."

Brooke glanced at Haley who was smiling at the scene and took a hand over her heart, mouthing, "They're so cute!"

Leaving the crib, Jamie went to give Brooke a hug, "Bye, Aunt Brooke."

"Uh" Brooke hugged him back, tightening the hug, "Bye, handsome. Don't forget to come back and properly visit me another time when you're not so busy."

He nodded, "I'll try."

Haley laughed as Brooke rolled her eyes, "He got that cocky attitude from Nathan, you know that?"

"Yeah" she pulled Jamie closer to her, "And he's so adorable that you can't hate him because he got it from me."

"Oh I see Nathan's attitude doesn't pass on only by genetics."

"Bye, Brooke" Haley hugged her friend.

"Thanks for the visit and the help. And for keeping me from freaking out completely."

"Anytime" Haley winked and took Jamie's hand, "Let's go?"

"Yeah."

"I'll take you to the door" Brooke said already walking ahead of them.

After Haley and Jamie were gone, Brooke came back and saw the mess that was her living room. She sighed tiredly wondering if she'd have the energy to tidy everything up. Probably not, so she just picked up the stuffed animals thrown around and took with her back to the baby's nursery. Seeing how that was a mess too, she started to quietly put everything back on its place. Then she found the dirty diaper that was curled on the changing table. So that's where that awful smell was coming from. Breathing through her mouth, she picked it up and went to put on the disposable diapers' trash while making a face.

The mobile was on top of the dresser and when Brooke picked it up, she accidentally pushed the button that made a lullaby go off. Panicking, she tried to make it stop but then heard Angie stirring on the crib. Mentally cursing whoever it was who gave her a musical mobile, she found the button and pushed it again, making it stop. She put it back on the dresser and went to check on the girl. She had her eyes open and was stirring inside the crib.

"Hey, baby" Brooke softly cooed while picking her up, "Did I wake you up? I'm sorry, you were sleeping" the baby whimpered and Brooke rocked her, "Oh I know. I know, baby."

Looking around she saw the rocking chair. Taking Angie with her, she took a seat by the chair and started to slowly rock back and forth. The baby seemed to enjoy it seeing how she got suddenly quiet. She still had her eyes open and was intently staring up at Brooke. Smiling, Brooke took one finger and caressed Angie's nose.

"You're such a cutie" she baby voiced, "Yeah" she sighed while the girl blinked at the contact of the finger on her nose, "Wanna hear a story? Alright, I'm gonna tell you a story."

Never leaving sight of the baby in her arms, Brooke made herself comfortable on the chair before starting the story, "Once upon a time, there was this girl. She was beautiful, very successful and with the biggest heart you could ever imagine. But because her heart was so big, nothing ever seemed enough to fill it. And she tried to fill it; she searched in places, in people, in all kinds of stuff. But nothing ever seemed to be enough. Until one day…"

She pocked Angie's nose again, making the girl giggle, "She found the cutest little baby in the world. And she had no idea why, but she could not leave sight of that baby girl. Some people tried to convince her she couldn't be with the baby girl because they didn't know about the girl's huge heart. They took her for granted. But then she found someone who saw that big heart of hers and decided that she should be with that baby and take care of her like she deserved it."

"And then… without the girl realizing, she felt her heart grow full. She had never felt that way before. Her heart was finally full and it was all because of this tiny little baby that came out of nowhere into her life, all of the sudden."

Fussing a little, Angie grabbed Brooke's finger and held it tight. Brooke smiled and leaned over to take a whiff of the girl's head, "The baby was tiny, but the love that the girl felt for her was so huge it could fill the world. Do you think the baby loved the girl back?"

Angie slowly closed her eyes and leaned her head on Brooke's chest. She fell asleep again holding on to her finger. Bringing the baby closer to her, Brooke kissed the top of her head.

"Mommy loves you, too, baby girl."

She sighed deeply and kept rocking back and forth, watching over her daughter's sleep.

* * *

The title is a song from _Curtis Stigers._


End file.
